eyes

My niece, her husband and two-month-old baby stayed the night with us Monday to Tuesday. They were down from Fort St. John to have baby Adele checked out at Children’s Hospital.

She has already spent ten days there - just after birth. She was born with hydrocephalus (water on the brain) and the day after was flown to Vancouver for surgery. They put in a shunt to drain the fluid into her abdomen. The shunt will be her lifelong companion.

She wasn’t due for another checkup until December. But they came down early because of Adele’s eyes. They don’t seem to be able to focus.

It’s the most curious thing. You hold her, talk to her, look her full in the face expecting that eye-to-eye connection. But she never quite makes it. Those dark little orbs circle around, shiver, stop momentarily in the place of eye contact, and then zig-zag on.

I never gave much thought to how important eye contact is. The expression "shifty-eyed," describing a person who refuses to look you in the eye, gives the connotation of guilt and sneakiness. But when a baby can’t look at you, it’s a different thing entirely.

I think about what that would do to mom-baby bonding. Even though you would know it’s something she can’t help, wouldn't it be hard to shake the feeling she’s snubbing or ignoring you? I think about what a challenge it will be to care for, understand and raise her. Uncharted territory for most of us. And then I think about what a gift I had in my sighted babies. I never appreciated. Now I say ‘thank-You.’

Her prognosis is uncertain. The doctors said she might suddenly turn the corner and begin to develop vision normally. Or she might not. It’s wait and see.