Wednesday, June 14, 2006

new territory

I haven’t talked much about what’s happening with Mom in the last while – but stuff is. The edema (fluid retention) in her limbs has been getting a little worse every day. It is also in her chest cavity so that she can’t breathe well. Even a walk around her apartment leaves her breathless and wheezing. On Monday I asked that her meals be delivered to her suite.

We’ve had her back to our family doctor, the heart specialist and our local hospital’s Heart Function Clinic. There she was being worked up to be part of the home I.V. program and get her diuretic delivered intravenously instead of orally, seeing as how the massive doses of Lasix she is on by pills don’t seem to be having any effect. I was told that the home I.V. program’s intention is that the patient or a family member give the treatment in the home. (This would mean that I would need to learn to do this? Yikes!)

I also put in a request, Monday, that she be moved to a higher level of care.

Yesterday her assisted living place called an ambulance for her and she was admitted to hospital (and I wonder if she’ll ever live in her little suite at the Villa again).

Also, the nurse in charge of placement called me back saying that if she requires ongoing medication by I.V., no extended care places will accept her. In other words, she’ll need acute care - that is, hospital (or perhaps palliative?) care.

Whew! On one hand I’m relieved that I won’t have to learn and give home I.V. I am not a nurse and the thought of doing something like that totally scares me. On the other, I feel sad and not a little bewildered and overwhelmed. We’re in new territory here.

The temptation is to worry, fret and be consumed with ‘what if’s.’ In this regard, the My Utmost for His Highest reading this morning, based on John 15:4, is perfect:

It does not matter what my circumstances are, I can be as sure of abiding in Jesus in them as in a prayer meeting. I have not to change and arrange my circumstances myself. With Our Lord the inner abiding was unsullied. He was at home with God wherever His body was placed. He never chose His own circumstances, but was meek towards His Father’s dispensations for him. Think of the amazing leisure of Our Lord’s life!

...Think of the things that take you out of abiding in Christ – Yes Lord, just a minute, I have got this to do; Yes I will abide when once this is finished; when this week is over, it will be all right, I will abide then....Determine to abide in Jesus wherever you are placed.

- Oswald Chambers - My Utmost for His Highest


(Also, if you have a minute, could you lift us up to the Father?)

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