(I didn't write this, but got it in an email. It made me chuckle, seeing I grew up Mennonite and all)
Canada and a Mennonite Nation-- Now that the Quebec nation is recognized within a united Canada, there is growing demand for a Mennonite nation within Canada.
In light of the recent parliamentary motion regarding the nationhood of the Quebecois, many feel that the Mennonites should also be recognized as a distinct nation within Canada. Once recognition from Parliament has been achieved, the Mennonite nation should then proceed to exercise its right to land claims in the Fraser Valley, southern Alberta, southern Saskatchewan, southern Manitoba and select portions of southern Ontario.
A sovereign nation should then be declared, with provincial capitals located in Yarrow, La Glace, Rosthern, Niverville and Waterloo (Abbotsford and Winkler can fight it out for federal capital) and Low German functioning as the second official language. A fully operational social safety net will be set up, including food banks and soup kitchens serving up borscht and pluma moos three times a day for the less fortunate - then put the bums to work picking hops.
It is to be anticipated that a big argument will break out. Already people are asking - who is a Mennonite?
Friesens and Dycks who go to a Mennonite church are in for sure. But what about a Peters who goes to an Alliance church? Will a Johnson who goes to a Mennonite church disguised as a "community church" qualify? Will culinary Mennonites who simply say they enjoy borscht get citizenship? Before you know it everyone buys sausage at Rempels or shops for groceries at Funks will claim they are Mennonites. It is even conceivable that anyone who ever went to an MCC sale might claim they are Mennonites. Then there will be more Mennonites than non-Mennonites and Mennonites could lose minorty status.
You think that the pacifist Mennonites will take all this lying down? The Quebecois question is easy compared to the Mennonite one. No?
Maybe turn it over to a committee of GC's and MB's to write a clarity act? Good luck!
(Thanks Marilyn S.)
2 comments:
Exclude all Mennonites who play or ever played hockey. Apparently, they're proven non-pacifists. -E.
I'm for it. :-)
Get rid of all the televisions and have everyone host Sunday company. Church three times a week. Home grown vegetables and freezers full of local beef. Wash on the line three days a week. Bye to the computer.
Those days won't come again.
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