Friday, February 17, 2006

dreams


Yesterday I wrote out a five-year plan – a writing prompt activity found in this book. There was release in that for me – goal-oriented person that I am – just spilling out all the things I dream of getting done in the foreseeable future, quantifying, taking stock of my various interests and seeing how they fit into the whole, saying, if I get these things done it will be enough.

Last night we went to choir, which was good as usual – singing the fabulous songs. I always come home with my mind full of music. I went to bed early, slept well.

This morning I had a dream. Two actually. In the first one, I was at a conference and was wanting to use the washroom. The washroom facility was actually a large room with many toilets but no stalls, everyone was in plain sight of each other. It was a humiliating thought to have to use it.

There were a lot of women in saris there and some of them would leave their used toilet paper but on top of the closed toilet seat (I’m thinking, this must be their custom). When it was my turn, I walked toward one of those commodes when, just before I got there the attendant, a young thing, took that soiled piece of paper off the seat I was about to use, so I wouldn’t have to do it. Then I noticed she was singing – a song about Jesus being alive. As I listened, I was struck with the beauty of her song. I wondered how all these immigrant women were taking it. And I realized, what she was doing – drawing attention to Jesus and praising Him – was the only thing that really mattered, no matter what kind of work she did. And then I woke up.

In the second dream, as I was going down the stairs, I noticed some mushed apple on one of them. When I got downstairs, I saw hubby was looking pale and was cleaning up some mess with a bucket. I asked him if he was sick and he said he was. I sent him back to bed and made a mental note not to forget to clean up the stairs. Then Sonia came into my dream, not the way she is now but as a three-year-old. “I love you mummy,” she said, and moved my face with her little hands to look right into hers. “I want to give you a kiss.” Then she kissed me very thoroughly and I saw the big, big smile on her face that is on one of her baby pictures. And then I awoke from this dream, overwhelmed by the sense of being in a family where you look after each other and are loved.

I’m not sure what the juxtaposition of these three dreams means (or whether there even is a meaning – although maybe the fact that my Quiet Time has me in Daniel is why I’m even searching for significance in night dreams at all). And I must say the tone of these night dreams after I’d written out my daydreams was not scolding or chiding in relation to them. I did not get the sense that writing out a five-year plan was a bad thing. But I did take away one simple and strong impression. Jesus and family need to remain a priority in my life over anything I could ever desire to achieve in any avocation or ‘career.’

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