traits of the self-life

I enjoy reading blogs for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is to come away feeling entertained, lightened, and with a fresh zest for life. This post will probably not do any of those things for you. It will not entertain you. It will certainly not make you feel lighter. It may send you on with a feeling of discouragement. Hopefully it will also send you to Jesus. However, if you’re not in the mood for introspection, for the realization there are some things about you which are not pretty, you may want to stop reading right about now...

The life story of Rees Howells and especially the crisis he faced of yielding his self-life to God (Saturday’s entry, below), reminded of a tract I got years ago: "Traits of the Self-Life." I taped it then to the back cover of one of my Bibles. Last week while reading Rees Howells’ story, I reviewed that tract. It is the best description of the self-life I know, and I never read it but am convicted to the core in many areas. I quote it below (I don’t know the author’s name; it was published by the Western Tract Mission– there is no date or copyright notice on it.).

Traits of the Self-Life

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me." (Psalm 139:23,24)

The following are some of the features and manifestation of the self-life. The Spirit alone can interpret and apply this to your individual case. As you read, examine yourself as if in the immediate presence of God.

Are you ever conscious of:

A secret spirit of pride – an exalted feeling, in view of your success or position; because of your good training and appearance; because of your natural gifts and abilities. An important independent spirit. Stiffness and preciseness?

Love of human praise; a secret fondness to be noticed; love of supremacy, drawing attention to self in conversation; a swelling out of self when you have had a free time in speaking or praying?

The stirrings of anger or impatience, which, worst of all, you call nervousness or holy indignation; a touchy, sensitive spirit; a disposition to resent and retaliate when disapproved of or contradicted; a desire to throw sharp, heated flings at another?

Self-will; a stubborn, unteachable spirit; an arguing, talkative spirit; harsh, sarcastic expressions, an unyielding, headstrong disposition; a driving, commanding spirit; a disposition to criticize and pick flaws when set aside and unnoticed; a peevish, fretful spirit; a disposition that loves to be coaxed and humored?

Carnal fear; a man-fearing spirit; a shrinking from reproach and duty; reasoning around your cross; a shrinking from doing your whole duty by those of wealth or position; a fearfulness that someone will offend and drive some prominent person away; a compromising spirit?

A jealous disposition, a secret spirit of envy shut up in your heart; an unpleasant sensation in view of the great prosperity and success of another; a disposition to speak of the faults and failings rather than the gifts and virtues of those more talented and appreciated than yourself?

A dishonest, deceitful disposition; the evading and covering of the truth; the covering up of your real faults; the leaving of a better impression of yourself than is strictly true; false humility; exaggeration; straining the truth?

Unbelief; a spirit of discouragement in times of pressure and opposition; lack of quietness and confidence in God; lack of faith and trust in God; a disposition to worry and complain in the midst of pain, poverty, or at the dispensations of Divine Providence; an over-anxious feeling whether everything will come out all right?

Formality and deadness; lack of concern for lost souls; dryness and indifference; lack of power with God?

Selfishness; love of ease; love of money?

These are some of the traits which generally indicate a carnal heart. By prayer, hold your heart open to the searchlight of God, until you see the groundwork thereof. The Holy Ghost will enable you, by confession and faith, to bring your "self-life" to the death. Do not patch over, but go to the bottom. It will pay.

Oh, to be saved from myself, dear Lord
Oh, to be lost in Thee:
Oh that it might be no more I
But Christ that lives in me.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10)