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A few months ago I set out to put up a weekly blog post about some aspect of aging. I've enjoyed exploring this reality, which is stepping on my toes more all the time!

In the last few weeks, however, I've decided to simplify my online life, especially the blogging part. One item that I've decided to strike from my 'to do' list is putting up these weekly senior-focused posts. The little cartoon above is the last one in this series. I hope it gives you a chuckle.

I'll still be updating promptings, now with more photos than writing. So I'd love it if you stuck around. Pictures are better for old eyes anyway!

card games

I'm learning so much in my Wednesday morning "Finances For Women" class. It's taught by a woman, around my age, who has worked for years as a financial planner. Her husband died a few years ago after a bout with cancer, which makes her perspective even more valuable and relevant to women aspiring to and entering retirement. Because there's a good chance that at some time in the next twenty years, many of us will be on our own:

"The average life expectancy for Canadians at age 65 is 20 years, with women outliving men by approximately eight years" - Kristin Doucet, Editor's Letter, Forum Magazine, May 2012


"The Canadian census reveals that close to one in three women above the age of 65 lives alone" - Peter Watson, Inside Halton.com.

One morning a couple of weeks ago we got on the topic of credit—credit cards, credit scores, that sort of thing. Our teacher, Ruth, related how shortly after her husband died she needed to put a large item on her credit card—a card they had held jointly but of which her now-deceased husband was the primary card-holder.

She found, to her chagrin, that the card was now useless and she had a hard time getting another one because of her non-existent credit score. She was eventually able to produce that score as a result of other financial transactions. However, her advice to us was:

1. Get yourself named as the person responsible for some of the regular payments you make for your household (hydro, telephone, internet) in order to establish a credit history and credit score.

2. Get your own credit card for two reasons: 1] to establish a credit history and score, and 2] so you have a credit card to use should your husband die suddenly.

The day of our discussion I checked with our credit card company and discovered that Ruth was absolutely right. If my husband died, the card we use jointly but of which he is the primary card-holder would be no good to me. I have since applied for my own card. Might as well head off one potential nasty surprise at the pass!

What other nasty financial surprises could be lurking down the road for someone newly widowed?

aging population? let's do a study!

Aging populations are on the minds of governments and social planners all over the world. Note for example:

• Aging population a challenge for Balkan nations

• Greying challenges ahead - re China

Canada is right in there with its attempt to keep on top of its aging population situation by implementing a Canadian Longitudinal Study on Aging (CLSA).

The study's definition and purpose (as described on its website):

"The Canadian Longitudinal Study on Aging (CLSA) is a large, national, long-term study that will follow approximately 50,000 men and women between the ages of 45 and 85 for at least 20 years. The study will collect information on the changing biological, medical, psychological, social, lifestyle and economic aspects of people’s lives. These factors will be studied in order to understand how, individually and in combination, they have an impact in both maintaining health and in the development of disease and disability as people age. The CLSA will be one of the most comprehensive studies of its kind undertaken to date, not only in Canada but around the world"

Locally the Simon Fraser Campus in Surrey is one of eleven Canadian sites for collecting this study's data. They held an open house with ribbon cutting and tours on October 4th. The site's lead investigator, Dr. Andrew Wister (chair of SFU's Gerontology Department) hopes the data will shed light on "'The many complex and interrelated biological, clinical, psycho-social and societal factors' that affect aging" (quoting from SFU Surrey joining long-term study into effects of aging, October 4, 2012,  The Province).

Living Lab

Sounds good. I just hope all that study doesn't take the place of action where it's already seen to be needed. In our province I often hear stories of acute care hospital beds occupied by the ill elderly until places in appropriate care homes can be found for them. It seems there's a lot  we already know about our aging population that could be acted on without 20 years' worth of study!

Footnote:

Here's a cool thing: SFU's  Dr. Tong Louie Living Lab

 Located in downtown Vancouver (7th floor of the BCIT downtown campus at 555 Seymour Street), the lab is made up of three spaces:

Experimental Space - an 800 square foot area with moveable walls and ceiling and equipped with audio, video and motion detection systems. It allows researchers to simulate real-life settings like kitchens bathrooms, apartments, nursing home settings and study how participants interact with their surroundings.

Viewing Theatre - space where the researchers watch what's going in the experimental space.

Data acquisition and Analysis centre - space where data from the video, audio, and sensors is collected and analyzed to develop and perfect new products and devices.

old and alone

An article titled "Aging alone: Planning can make those future years golden" (Denver Post) talks about the very real possibility that many of us will grow old alone without spouse or even kids nearby. The piece cites some action steps suggested by Nancy Orel of Bowling Green State University to  ensure comfortable golden years:

• Assess your personal situation.

• Consider and make a list of who to call in an emergency.

• Get a good lawyer

• Don't seclude yourself. Instead build a support system.

• Keep exercising body and mind.

• Consider what changes you may need to make to your house so that you can age in place.

• Stay positive; look forward to something

I love the Orel quote that ends the article:

"Have dreams and goals and objectives for the future. ... Many people fall prey to 'I'm old, I'm old, I'm old.' No. If people assumed they were going to live the maximum life span of 122 years, they'd look differently at their 70s."

(Read all of : Aging, alone: Planning can make those future years golden)

Of course the life of a single person can be much warmer and richer than the above list would imply. In her book Embracing Your Second Calling Dale Hanson Bourke tells of a time she took her sons to visit their  widowed great-grandmother Hanson. When they walked into her nursing home room at the time they had said they'd arrive from out of state, she wasn't even there.

"Oh, she's probably at Crafts or a Bible Study," the nurses said. "She's a busy lady."

When Bourke and her boys returned an hour later, there was Grandma Hanson in her room with a half dozen other guests. There were college students, a middle-aged woman, and a young couple with their toddler, all of whom Grandma was delighted to introduce to her granddaughter and great-grandsons.

During the several days of her visit Bourke recounts:

"Grandma had many more visitors of all ages. They seemed to arrive at all times of the day, and not one of them seemed to be there because they were worried that my grandma was lonely. They came because they loved seeing her, were seeking her advice, or just wanted to spend some time with someone with twinkling blue eyes and a big smile"  Dale Hanson Bourke, Embracing Your Second Calling, pp. 193, 194.

Why was Grandma so popular? It had a lot to do with decisions she had made earlier in her life. When, as a young mom, she felt hopeless about her life married to an alcoholic, she decided to take the kids to church and came to know God in a way that changed her and her boys. Eventually her husband came around too. She  taught Sunday School for sixty years and had known many of her adult visitors when they were children. She had watched them grow, get married and have kids of their own, genuinely loved them, and was interested in their lives.

Bourke concludes:

"Our family can trace our spiritual roots back to this humble woman, and I like reminding my sons that one person's decisions can influence the next generation. We have so much, thanks to Grandma Hanson" Bourke, p. 196.

Bourke adds this bit of wisdom after telling her grandmother's story:

"A common principle of good management is, 'Begin with the end in mind.' The point is simply to know where you want to end up so you keep aiming in the right direction" Bourke p. 196.

If our goal is to end up surrounded by friends and family like Grandma Hanson was, we'd do well to cultivate some of those friendships now, so that when we are old and alone, we're not reduced to frantically casting about for a lawyer, someone to go for a walk with, or names for the list of who to contact in an emergency.

Do you know some elderly singles like Grandma Hanson? What makes them well-liked and popular?

the good old days in murals - part 1

On our summer holiday we visited the town of Sooke on Vancouver Island. While driving around the town I spied what looked like pictures from old photo album only they were wall-sized! Imagine my delight to discover two entire walls of these reproductions.

I'll share those beautiful and nostalgic murals with you today and next Tuesday. I have captioned each mural with the information displayed beside it.

Loggers using springboards and crosscut saws felled these giant douglas fir trees by hand in 1900.

Mr. Wes Carscadden mowing oats on the Murray farm located at Murray and Goodmere Roads, in 1920.

Woodside farm, established in the 1860s by the Muir family has consistently remained agricultural.

A Jersey cow, vital to the farm in the 1920s resided at the Milne farm.

This barn, built in 1932 at Woodside farm, is a landmark along west Coast Road. Photo taken in the 1970s.

Hay load on the farm of Herb Blythe, in the Kemp Lake area in the 1940s.

Sooke Farmers Institute Exhibit, displayed in Victoria, in 1910.

Margaret Dunbar, during the apple harvest at the family dairy farm, Dewdney Flats, in 1926.

Kay Welsh sitting on a 1929 Studebaker, in 1948, with bountiful potatoes grown on the family's Grant Road farm.

Cluny McPherson (left) and Victor Willerton planting potatoes at the old Adolphus Poirier farm, Otter District, 1988.

Here is a little information about the collection and artist A.J.

I'm trying to figure out why these murals resonate with me so. It surely has something to do with the independent spirit and perseverance that ooze from these pictures. Perhaps it's also because I grew up on a farm and know, at a gut level, what it feels like to care for the earth, work hard, and feel pride (good pride) in the results.

My favourites are the two girls—the young girl (Kay Welsh) perched proudly on the running board of that posh Studebaker between bulging bags of potatoes, and the woman (Margaret Dunbar) with her work-worn face, hooded eyes, and slightly worried expression, posing for just a minute before she carries on to deposit those apples in the cold room, perhaps, or the kitchen where floury crusts are already in pans and waiting for their filling of fresh-crop apples.

Come back next Tuesday for more murals of the good old days.

old friends

We decided to take the Vesuvius ferry off Saltspring in order to land at Crofton on Vancouver Island so we could rendezvous with old friends Charlie and Leslie. They have been on this blog before. Way back in 2005 we visited them in their home in Telkwa and explored Prince Rupert together.

There is something reassuring and right-feeling about connecting with friends from the past. We've known C&L since 2003 when Charlie and I met at one of Nathan Harms' poetry gatherings in Edmonton. Since then we've kept in touch loosely via email and poetry until we visited them in 2005. They finally repaid our visit last summer just before they made the big decision to leave the north and settle on Vancouver Island.

Our visit to them this August included a tour of their beautiful church, St. Michael and All Angels Anglican Church.

 ... a walk through the market where Leslie and I tried on hats made by (as per her business card) "The Bag Lady: Unique hand-crafted bags, purses and hats"...

...and around town. Here we are posed in front of "The Little Inn on Willow' billed as the world's smallest hotel.

Then they took us back to where they live and showed us their new home built on scenic property and Charlie's new shop (he makes custom boots).

Later in the week we spent time with Tom and Marnie. Marnie and I lived together when we both taught school in Hazelton, BC. Our families have holidayed together, we've bounced and cooed over each other's babies and now we're sharing the joy of grandbabies.

These relationships make me think of the importance of friendships. As we age they are more important than ever and not to be taken for granted. In a BBC Health article Dr. Trisha Mcnaire says:

"Loneliness is unfortunately a common problem in older age, and a significant contributor to depression, as people lose their lifelong partners or become isolated when families move away. Many chronic diseases contribute to a decline in mobility which makes it harder for older people to get out of their homes and maintain contact and meaningful relationships with friends. Research suggests that at least one in ten of the elderly lead isolated and lonely lives, starved of emotional support as well as practical help."

The article goes on to list and discuss nine ways we can help ourselves and our aging friends and relatives to maintain good relationships. Read all of "Emotional and Physical Relationships in Older Age."

A few random thoughts:

1. It's wonderful to have friends move nearer, rather than farther away.

2. Facebook has been great in helping me and my husband reconnect with old friends.

3. School reunions (we had a high school reunion last summer) have both exciting and disappointing moments.

4. It takes intention and effort on both sides to keep old friendships alive.

5. Meeting with friends who are roughly our age and grew up where we did or shared a portion of our lives has its unique pleasures. There's a lot to be said for some common history.

6. The friendship situation only gets worse the older we get and our friends die or move away. That reality was brought home to my 91-year-old mom when, at her apartment, she was slowly  surrounded by much younger strangers. It helped her make the decision to move to an assisted living facility (which we loved because it was closer to us).

Have your friendships changed as you age? How? How do you maintain old friendships—or do you?

"Old Friends" by Paul Simon/Art Garfunkel

retirement: scripted or impromptu?

Are you retired? Thinking of retirement? Planning for retirement?

An article titled "New Retirees: Avoid These Mistakes" lists seven things to watch out for in retirement. Four of the seven relate to money (not quitting before retirement is vested, having adequate health insurance, that sort of thing). The three remaining mistakes are:

• Moving to a place where you don't know anyone.
• Thinking your health will hold out forever.
• Spending too much time on travel and new hobbies.

The article got me thinking about how a person or couple might find themselves making those mistakes, and about retirement generally.

Personally one of the best things I did to prepare for this time of life was to get a little training and begin working as a freelance writer in my 50s. Ten years later I don't feel retired at all and am rarely bored or at loose ends with nothing to do (hubby is always bugging me to be more retired and less busy and scheduled). A friend of mine who has just retired from the federal civil service has spent evenings and weekends the last few years getting trained as an interior designer and decorator so she can start a whole new career in her retirement.

Of course if we are leaving satisfying work and a community of colleagues, retirement can feel very disorienting. As Dale Hanson Bourke describes it:

"My identity is no longer tied to a title or an organization .... If I cared to, I could certainly spin a good story when people ask what I'm doing nowadays; but most times, I don't bother. 'I'm doing a bit of this and that,' I reply. I've abandoned the ten-second power speech I once had ready to impress anyone who asked" - Dale Hanson Bourke, Embracing Your Second Calling, p. 104.

A friend of hers who is at the same life stage said:

"I'm no longer known as the president of my firm; I no longer have people being nice to me because of my position on the Board of Trade. My children are adults, and I am now challenged to find my new identity. It's exhilarating and terrifying at the same time" - Bourke, Op. Cit, p. 104.

What are your thoughts about retirement? Do you dread it? Look forward to it? Are you preparing for it in any way?

If you are retired, did you prepare for it or just let it unfold? How is it working out?

island adventure 8 - morning walks around Ganges

 Hubby and I tend to stick to the routine we keep at home when on holidays. This means we're up most mornings before 6 to have our quiet time of Bible reading, meditation, prayer, and coffee (on our own). Then at 8 o'clock (before we have breakfast) we go for a walk together.

Our morning walks on Salt Spring are a highlight of each day.

As an aside, that daily walk is one of the best things we've done for our health and fitness. Why? An article on MedicineNet.com cites ten health-related reasons to walk.


1. Prevents Type 2 diabetes.
2. Walking  strengthens your heart if you're male.
3. Walking strengthens your heart if you're female.
4. Walking is good for your brain.
5. Walking is good for your bones.
6. Walking helps alleviate symptoms of depression.
7. Walking reduces the risk of breast and colon cancer.
8. Walking improves fitness.
9. Walking in short bouts improves fitness too.
10. Walking improves physical function.

Writer Richard Weil expands on each reason in the article. Read entire...

But on our morning vacation walks around Ganges avoidance of diabetes, cancer and depression, improving bone, colon and brain health are the last things on our minds, because there is so much to see.  Of course I take my camera to record the nooks and crannies of the town. I'm always lagging  behind to snap just one more photo. Here are some of the things I find:

Murals

and tree-framed scenes

Sayings

and a tide pool still life.

Inspiring stuff around the school

The poster says: "This mural's purpose is to inspire everyone to protect and conserve water to ensure a healthy future for our rivers, lakes, oceans, and communities. Each fish painter has learned about the local watershed and how to keep it healthy."

"Dream Lofty Dreams, For As You Dream, So Shall You Become."

and boats in primary colors

Funky finds

The fruit-and-veggie festooned bike is outside of Bruce's Kitchen.


and a garden of dewy faces

Public works of art on land

and beauty reflected on water.

What a beautiful and interesting place!